I had this nice little post ready about peace. After I read it, the words were hollow. So I deleted it. This blog is hollow. Writing makes sense. Blogging doesn’t make any sense anymore. Am I writing, or addressing? The purpose of this blog was to get me to write more often. It was supposed to be the vehicle that helped me to master my craft. But almost a year later and the writing has not improved. I would even wager to say that my writing has gotten worse over the years.
Yet, I kind of enjoy the engagement of blogging. But I’m wondering what purpose it now serves. Maybe I need a change in approach. A change in subject matter. Maybe it’s just a matter of connecting my inner voice to my fingertips. I usually find that what ends up on this page isn’t what I really intended. And I’m not really sure what the root cause of that is, nor what the solution is.
I’m kind of in a similar place with my practice. I’m not sure if Nichiren is the right vehicle for me. I haven’t been chanting much at all lately. Some of that is due to pure laziness. But part of me is dissatisfied with SGI and Nichiren Buddhism in general. Not a hate or dislike, there is just something that really doesn’t speak to me. For me it’s hard to find a connection there.
Oh, and we’re having another baby. So yeah, that’s kind of been on my mind lately.